[Update: Results graphic updated with the final two race results. Click for a larger view.]
Wow! What an election season. We saw some great fights that turned out to be landslides, and things we thought were decided in October come down to the wire. We had the big push for that thing we both wanted to win and held hands while we found out that person we didn’t want to win take the victory and then went to Twitter to complain…a lot. We never did stop complaining and calling people names on Twitter…we’re still doing it now actually. It’s funny how on Election night, “winning” and “losing” translate to pretty much the same thing.
[If you were generally happy about the election, go to page 2.]
[If you don’t care about the election, or keep yourself on an even keel about all of this, flip to page 3.]
[If you are pissed about stuff, keep reading…]
Page 1 (You’re pissed)
Well that thing and or person we wanted to win didn’t totally did! Grrrr! What a bunch of racists/morons/elitists we live with in this state right?! Really? I mean really?! We didn’t realize how much of a lead paint issue we had around here, but it’s pretty clear after last night.
You what we should do? We should move south/north to be with the good people. Smart people that we agree with. Freaking morons! I’m going to go say their morons on Twitter and then get in a fight on some Facebook comments thread. That’ll show em!
Page 2 (You’re happy)
Dude! High-five it! That thing we like won! Can you believe it?! This country is really going to get/stay on the right track! We were worried there for a second…remember when that stuff happend that made us worried? Totally worked out though! Whoooooo!
We’re going to go on Twitter and tell people that we are right and finally are/still in charge of shit now! Maybe we’ll go blow up one of their “woe is me” Facebook posts in the comments too! So awesome.
Page 3 (You don’t care.)
Bam. You’re dead. Vote or die bitch.