A convenience store in Imperial, MO in Jefferson County had an interesting story to tell Sunday night after one of their customers tried to steal a pack of Starbursts. The suspect isn’t very good at this whole stealing thing since the store clerk noticed the theft attempt and confronted the perp. During the confrontation, another dude pulled out a knife and threatened to kill the clerk…
Quick reminder: We’re still talking about a pack of Starbursts…
After threatening the employee the two ran outside jumping in to a car driven by yet another perp, the crew’s female driver apparently, and took off.
Oh and the sweet sweet prize of Starbursts that were apparently worth an attempted armed robbery charge? They dropped those during the escape.
When asked the clerk said “I wasn’t even supposed to be here today! …wait, is a Kevin Smith reference still considered cool? I’m not sure anymore after Cop Out.“
The bonus of all this is that it might just be weird enough to be considered for the first true-life weird ass Starburst commercial. “I’ll stab you over them and then leave them when I run” ad would go nicely with the Scottish Koreans, the Berries and Cream guy, and our personal pitch of a gay alan wrench buying sweaters with Larry Connors when a unicorn breaks through the wall causing Larry Connors to hit the unicorn until it explodes like a South City pipe bomb of Starbursts making everyone happy except for the gay alan wrench, who was killed in the blast.
[Editor’s Note: Just realized that ‘Taste the Rainbow” is Skittles, not Starbursts. Whoops! It makes a better headline though and no one seems to have noticed, so I’m leaving it.]