Found on St. Louis’ “Missed Connections” Craiglist page:
First impressions are everything. So, if you want to pick up a woman on here, draft your post to give the impression as though you did in fact graduate high school and possess basic literacy skills. LEARN TO SPELL AND USE PUNCTUATION! Sentences should start with a capital letter and end with period. “Txt” spelling is fine for a text, but isn’t finding that special woman worth the extra nanosecond it takes to spell out your words completely? No, txt speak does not make you sound cool or fun. No woman wants to date a man who comes off as either illiterate or just too lazy to write comprehensible sentences.
See he sounds smart by making obvious grammar tips, but if you look close you’ll see he’s a moron because he apparently is under the impression that simply having good grammar on your creepy Missed Connection post where you explain that you are waiting for the girl you love to email you back and tell you which part of your body did you pull hair out of and leave behind on her pillow last night will win you the girl. It won’t.
“Ewwww. Gross…oh but he used “whom” correctly. Come out of my closet and put down that chloroform, you won’t need it tonight big boy!”
That scenario has only happened to me once, only she didn’t exactly say that…and it turns out I needed the chloroform after all.