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Stan Kroenke shocked everyone by jumping in at the last second to make a play for 100% ownership of the St. Louis Rams. That’s fine and all, but the Rams had a buyer already. Their’s way better stuff for Kroenke to drop his cash on…

10. Arby’s. Who doesn’t love Arby’s?

9. A soccer team.

8. 4,000 pairs of white socks. Never buy socks again.

7. Nickelback. So they’ll never play again.

6. 1 lion, 1 gorilla, 1 cage, tons of seats.

5. The cast and set of Charles In Charge.

4. A massaging robot…an asian massaging robot. For us. As a present.

3. Kryptonite, to finally stop that insufferable Superman!

2. Me. *wink*

1. Better hair.