I don’t want to shock any of you, but apparently we are going through some kind of economic depression. Its been a bit of a secret, but apparently it is hitting the city of St. Louis. Get ready for the budget cuts! What are we talking about? City Hall jobs could be cut, less trash pick up, down to once a week, and even possibly losing the Forest Park Rangers!
People living in St. Louis city are bracing for the budget ax to fall. the board of aldermen are looking for ways to cut millions of dollars from the city budget.
Mayor Slay’s spokesperson, Jeff Rainford, says it’s the city’s pension plan that’s causing the massive shortfall. He sys police, fire and many city workers have pensions that are virtually guaranteed.
Some of the proposed solutions for St. Louis’ money woes:
10. Over/under pools on number of murders in the city from month to month.
9. “St. Louis City Police: We’re Officially Cool With Bribes Now!”
8. Every bridge to Illinois now has a toll.
7. What kid wouldn’t want to have Mayor Slay appear at their birthday party?!
6. “Well, exactly how on fire is your house? Gas ain’t cheap lady!”
5. Do you ever wonder what happens to all the coins people throw in the fountains around the city? Stop wondering.
4. The mayor will take a substantial pay cut. Well, lets not go crazy!
3. Hey Matt Holliday! Wanna buy Wellston?
2. The new VP Fair: The Spin Doctors. On every stage. Every night.
1. Once their check clears on the Arch, Cincinnati Ohio will be the new gateway to the west!