Lake St. Louis Creates Way for Bored Housewives to Get Rid of Latino Couple Down the Street

In America we like things nice and easy. We like our cheese pressurized, our lights clappable, and we want a really easy way to report any person we might think is an illegal immigrant on a whim.

Thank the City Council of Lake St. Louis, Missouri who’s roster is not to be confused with Senator McCarthy’s pose back in the day, (but we will excuse you if you did) for taking the step to make a system to identify and report illegal immigrants easier. You know, so you can do it without having to get off your pontoon boat.

The bill was sponsored by Alderman Harry Slyman, who says he was confronted with the issue of illegal immgrants working on a project he was involved in. Slyman, who is known for once running a string of appliance stores, says there was no mechanism to report the issue.

Well finally! I’ve always wanted a quicker way to get at the poor bastard raking leaves for $0.25 an hour, but you know I was just too damn hard to pick up the phone! Thank you Harry Slyman. You are a truly great American.

Slyman plans to had out small dongles that the Lake St. Louis residents to hook to their magnetic copper bracelet next to your Medialert badge. This way if you see a troubling young punk riding his bike down the street, so someone mowing a law that you don’t know, you can quickly grab your “Mex-alert” badge and let the authorities know…and if you fell in the process, you can have them help you up too.

…oh wait. That was just the neighbor kid with a tan. Better safe than sorry!

via KSDK