If you read the tweets last night or watched the news today you would have thought the new chunk of highway 40 that opened yesterday came with free ice cream at every onramp and it was lined with thousands of hot naked chicks washing each other.
“I’m right here by the new Hampton overpass and anxious drivers and pouring on to the new highway as we speak…”
“The east bound onramp is open and we are at XXX are the first to merge on!”
“Tom I’ve been driving on the new 40 since getting on at 170 and I’ve had a boner since Hanley! Also I was so excited when I got to my car one of my overly erect nipples broken the driver’s side window of my car!”
Give me a break people! Yes, its nice to have the other major road open, but christ its just a road.
…I will say this though. After fighting for what seemed like forever, me and Forest Park Parkway made up yesterday morning and are back in love again. Yes its true. We loved each other so much. The lack of traffic, the lack of cops, the protestors freezing their asses off in front of Planned Parenthood, it was easily my favorite road. But after 40 closed, all you bastards came and ruined it. Running your dirty wheels from east to west…made me want to puke. So we broke up, and I haven’t seen her since…until Monday morning.
I hope we never fight again.
