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According to KWMU, Jade, the 23-month old elephant at the St. Louis, has contracted the herp which is bad news for elephants since herpes is fatal to them…though somehow makes Paris Hilton stronger every day.

Of course the question now is how does a baby elephant get herpes?  Frankly the suspect list is endless.  I mean we’re in St. Louis…there isn’t a guy in town that hasn’t gotten drunk and shacked up with a “baby elephant.” 

For the record, I haven’t been to the Zoo in a year….plus I totally heard that Jade is a whore.